if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will pee on everything he values.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize