he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry about my life...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
