We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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