They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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