Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
