We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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