why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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