that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
