Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
