this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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