normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
