I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
