Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Randomize
