He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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