I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
