we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize