I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
