If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
