all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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