Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
