dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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