I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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