Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize