You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
