none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
