It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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