we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
