So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize
