Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
