Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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