i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wear drunk well.
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