you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
