i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize