the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
