Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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