i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
