Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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