just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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