i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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