Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you would pick up someone in the library
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she pinky promised me she was 18
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
