so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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