And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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