All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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