Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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