OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
