i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
