There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
