yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
