He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
