She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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