Are we in a gay sports bar?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Please don't give away my fajitas
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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