you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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