omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
