And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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