I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
