I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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