After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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