I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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