thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize